


Everybody Wins

by Alistair



Series: Everybody Wins [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom!Thorin, Dirty Talk, M/M, Masturbation, Riding, Thorin Sleeps With Everyone, Toys, bottom!Dwalin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:36:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2167734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alistair/pseuds/Alistair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things that everyone under the Mountain knows. One: dragons are fuckers. Two: so are Elves, unless they have something of value, and even then, approach with caution. Three: Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain, is the best shag in all Middle Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Wins

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for bad porn written under the influence of sleep deprivation and for the terrible title, but I just couldn't leave this alone when I saw the prompts on the KM: Thorin bottoms for anyone except Dwalin or Bilbo and Thorin sleeps with literally everyone. Please forgive any mistakes.

There are some things that everyone under the Mountain knows. One: dragons are fuckers. Two: so are Elves, unless they have something of value, and even then, approach with caution. Three: Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain, is the best shag in all Middle Earth. These are things that everyone acknowledged, accepts, and (in the case of the last) enjoys. 

\---

"By Mahal's beard, Your Majesty, all I want is that enormous cock of your's pounding me into the floor until you've fucked all the come out of me." Nori glanced out over the unsuspecting audience of the Royal Council. "Let these pompous advisers watch. I don't care, I just want you in me."

Thorin's grip on the letter in his hand tightened, but his face betrayed nothing. For all the world, the two of them seemed as King and Master Spy, one of them merely leaving his daily report and the other merely bored.

Nori hid a smirk as best he could and leaned so close his lips almost touched Thorin's ear. "I fingered myself open and wet for you already. All you'd have to do is rip me trousers off and push inside."

With a heavy sigh, Thorin waved Nori away with an affect of great tedium, and that's when Nori knew he'd won.

"Council is dismissed," Thorin said shortly. As soon as the last adviser was out the door, he rounded on Nori, and the thief just laughed until the laughs turned to groans of pleasure as Thorin did exactly as he was told and pushed right in.

\---

Dwalin grunted, his knees grinding hard into the dirt floor beneath him. The sound of skin smacking together in the quiet of the empty sparring room was all he could hear past the rush of his heartbeat in his ears. Thorin was in good form, both with a sword in his hand and without. Flat on his back, the king arched up beneath him to give extra power to his thrusts into Dwalin's body. Dwalin ran his hands through the thick hair thatching Thorin's chest and bounced faster, his powerful thighs flexing as he rose up and down, impaling himself over and over on Thorin's thick cock.

Thorin bit his lip and groaned softly. He left one hand in an iron grip on Dwalin's hip while the other traveled over the scarred and tattooed muscles of Dwalin's torso. His touch was light in some places, so light that if Dwalin weren't so achingly close to coming, he'd suspect Thorin of tickling. In other places, Thorin practically groped at him, kneading the muscles beneath his fingers greedily, reverently.

"Dwalin-"

And it's the choked off sound of his name in that low, rough voice that pushed Dwalin over the edge.

\---

"One of my more inspired ideas, if I do say so myself." Bofur chuckled at Thorin's weary snort. They were in the Royal Chambers this time, though for all the grandeur, Thorin's bed was no more comfortable than Bofur's own. Which is to say that both beds were warm and soft and often filled with very satisfied dwarves, lounging after an athletic bout of fucking. The firelight cast a golden glow over the bed and all the naked limbs spread haphazardly on top of the deep blue sheets.

"You didn't think of that yourself," Thorin said, raising an eyebrow as he lit his pipe. The king lay half-propped on Bofur's chest, his dark hair sticking to the sweaty skin beneath it. Bofur sputtered.

"I never said I invented it," Bofur retorted with mock affront. "But you look me in the eye and you tell me you'd thought of us both sucking each other's cocks at the same time."

Thorin looked up at him and smiled. He passed the pipe to Bofur and rolled over so their chests pressed together.

"You're right. But next time," he growled with a predatory smirk, "I want your fingers in me while you suck."

\---

"Oh! Goodness!" Ori shoved a gloved hand into his mouth before any other words can slip out between lips that have been bitten red in an attempt at discretion.

Thorin would smile, were his own mouth not thoroughly occupied with the task of sucking Ori's hard little cock until the scribe couldn't muffle the sounds and his moans echoed around the library. One hand gripped Ori's hip, while the other was shoved roughly up the front of the linen shirt to tweak at small brown nipples.

Ori squeaked behind his fist as Thorin increased his efforts, bobbing his head quickly and pressing his tongue up against the underside of Ori's cock. But more adorable was the soft low moan that accompanied the rush of fluid into Thorin's waiting throat as Ori came.

"Just... just give me a moment and I'll take care of you," Ori said as he slumped against the bookshelf behind him. He pulled Thorin close and the blush across his beardless cheeks grew even deeper as he palmed the tented front of Thorin's trousers.

"No need." Thorin smiled and muzzled Ori's throat affectionately. "I'm having tea with your brother later and he loves when I'm aching for it."

Ori snorted and quickly kissed the King's lips. "You're incorrigible." 

\---

Thorin sighed and leaned back, resting his palms on the thick thighs beneath him for balance. Bifur murmured something encouraging and the king smiled. Ferocious as he was in battle, Bifur's touch was as gentle as could be in the bed chambers. Or, as gentle as a dwarf could be when wielding a cock as thick around as a sword grip and nearly as hard.

Thorin rocked slowly, reveling in the feeling of being filled so well.

" _Lovely as the moon,_ " Bifur said, running his hands up and down Thorin's chest with something akin to awe in his gaze. " _More beautiful than gold._ "

Thorin bit his lip and moved faster. The soft rumbling tones of Bifur's voice always sent a shiver of delight running through his veins. Bedmates rarely called him beautiful and even when they did, it was only when Bifur said the words that he believed them. He gasped as he found just the right angle and Bifur grinned up at him, shifting his grip to Thorin's hips.

" _Take your pleasure slowly, my jewel,_ " he said. " _We have all night and I would replace the worries of the day with all the joy I can give you._ "

\---

Thorin groaned as the last inch of the leather-bound dildo slid into his core. It was the biggest toy he owned and it had taken more than a few sessions to train his body to accept it's full length. Now, it fit snugly inside him and he smirked with self-congratulations. The toy was specially made, long and slender. Much too long for a dwarf, but just right for, say, an elf.

A very specific elf.

Would Thranduil be loud in bed, Thorin wondered. He certainly liked the sound of his own voice well enough. Or perhaps he would be silent; animal enough to shove his cock in a nice warm hole, but too lofty and ethereal to give voice to his pleasure. Thorin snorted and then gasped as the dildo shifted inside him.

Were those softly pointed ears sensitive? Would the Elvenking writhe beneath his callused hands as he touched every inch of perfect, pale skin?

Thorin flexed his wrist, thrusting the dildo at a leisurely pace. He had heard that elves had no hair on their bodies. Would Thranduil be repulsed at the dark thatch on Thorin's chest, or would he find pleasure in the novelty? He ran his unoccupied hand down his chest to tease and pinch at his nipple.

So many questions. And with the Midsummer's Eve festival only a few days away, he couldn't wait to find the answers. .


End file.
